Escape from Victim, Villain, Savior, and the Duality Drama

The Duality DramaWe have the survival mechanism of “fight, flight, freeze, and tend & befriend”, because we’ve been conditioned to ask a very narrow set of questions, and seek for their narrow set of answers. This narrow line of questioning keeps us from experiencing the infinite potential available through the power of questions and answers. At the core of our dilemma are limiting questions, such as “how can I feel safe from villains?”, “how can I feel free from villains?”, and “how can I avoid or stop being a victim?” However, if we were to open our perception from this narrow line of questioning, we could instead ask “how can I resonate with all possible solutions?”

This isn’t a matter of simply asking a different question consciously, as our unconscious and subconscious minds are still afraid and worried about being a victim, and being the prey of dastardly villains. Through unifying our three minds to ask this new question, by peeling back the many layers of gunk that keep us asking the wrong questions, we can finally reach a state of purity, to ask our highest and best serving questions. This is “what” the problem is.

Next, we can ask “why do I feel like a victim?”, “why am I feeling that this person or entity is a villain?”, “why do I act like a villain?”, and “why do I keep limiting my perspective to survival questions?” Many other questions must also be asked, as these are just a few of the examples. Once we truly understand “why” we ask the wrong questions, and “why” we don’t trust asking questions that go beyond the scope of survival, we can experience a shift in perspective, and a shift in how our life unfolds. This is finding out “why” we have the problem, which when figured out internally, will cause an upgraded “how” phase to occur, which is our shift.

The root of our problems lie within a very subtle distortion of associating the messenger as the source of our problems, rather than seeing the messages as questions in need of answers. Whereas we attempt to get rid of our messengers, which when attempted puts us into our survival instincts of fighting, running, freezing, or tending & befriending, we can instead ask questions and find answer to the issues that our messengers brings to us.

We violate free will when we try to deal with the messenger as our problem, rather than solving the message that the messenger approaches us with. Trying to neutralize the messenger, either through fight, flight, freeze, or tend & befriend, is “why” we are in survival, and “why” we can have our own free will violated, however, if we stop trying to run away from the messenger, and instead process their message, and find solutions to that instead, we’ll be in resonance with all answers.

Lets be absolutely clear about this, free will violations occur because we perceive the messenger as our villain (problem), and then trigger into a survival response to deal with them, rather than seeing their message as a question that needs to be answered. Receiving answers will always be difficult when they violate free will, because they must fight through resistance of the person being violated, but when they do not violate free will, they flow easily and effortlessly, because they are free from resistance that would be there from a person resisting violation.

In the old version of relationships as a mirror that we taught, we saw that boundaries were defined in three ways:

  1. I’m a victim (freeze or tend & befriend).
  2. I have boundaries and enforce them (Natural Boundaries from either fight or flight).
  3. I don’t know, it doesn’t happen to me (Energetic Boundaries)

However, in the new version of relationships as a mirror, we say:

  1. I’m a victim (freeze or tend & befriend).
  2. I have boundaries and enforce them (Natural Boundaries from either fight or flight).
  3. Energetic boundaries — things may still happen to me, but I no longer perceive myself or others as villains and victims, but as messengers that bring me a message, which I can easily and effortlessly solve. From this frame of mind, I am always safe and free, since I no longer am a resonate match to the fight, flight, freeze, or tend & befriend survival responses. I do not violate free will, therefore my free will cannot be violated.

If we were truly in resonance with all solutions, and we awoke with a pain, or felt a an uncomfortable feeling in our body, rather than being the victim of our villainous body, we could realign with an answer within milliseconds of the feeling. The feeling would still be there as our messenger, but we wouldn’t need trial and error, and long periods of time to figure out a solution, because we’re not a victim to our feelings, nor must we contend against them, as they are just the messenger conveying a the details and data of a situation. We can realign our view from our problems being a person that is victimizing us, to the notion that they are just the messenger giving us data, so that we can ask questions about it, so that we can move through it.

Also, since we no longer need to shoot the messenger when they are perceived as being the bearer of bad news, false news, or even threatening news, we still need to address the message as well.  Perceiving the message and data as a threatening villain is also still relating as a victim in relationship to it; which is still disempowering.  We can also shift our belief that any message can harm us, cause us to doubt, or deceive us into being in harms way, which will allow us to have clarity as we process each situation with the Trivium method of critical thinking, free from our survival response.  With the belief that any person, being, entity, message, or situation is an actual threat to our well being gone, we can ask the following questions to filter the data, and receive clarity:

  1. “What (what, who, where, and when) is the situation being presented?”
  2. “Why is this situation here?” What is the root cause?
  3. “How can I best act in this situation?”

*tap tap tap* Even though I believe that I am a victim of people, and that they are my problem to be solved, maybe just maybe they are just a messenger, and that the messenger, message, or situation is not my villain, nor is it victimizing me.  Maybe messages are easy to solve when I process all of the available data without judgments, and messengers are difficult to solve, because it violates free will. Maybe my judgment is the signal that I am perceiving a messenger, message, or situation as a villain, and that I am reacting as a victim. *tap tap tap*

*tap tap tap* Even though I believe villains are my problem, and that I must protect myself from being a victim of my villains, maybe just maybe my perception that they are the problem to be solved is incorrect, and what actually causes them to be potential villains. Maybe just maybe if I see them as messengers carrying a message for me, I can ask the correct questions and receive their answers. In truth, I cannot be victimized by a villain, as they only exist in my perception, it is only my perception that I am being victimized by, not people. I created the reality of victims and villains through my perception of them as real, and I can uncreate this reality through changing my perception. *tap tap tap*

*tap tap tap* Even though answers come slowly when I’m trying to solve people as my problem, maybe answers will come much faster when I am able to process all of the data without bias or judgments, through asking the right questions and receiving their answers.  Whereas solving people as problems violates free will, solving messages as problems does not, therefore answers come faster when I ask questions about messages rather than the messengers. *tap tap tap*

*tap tap tap* Even though I believe that I can be victimized by people, beings, entities, messages, or situations, maybe just maybe I cannot be victimized unless I am seeing myself as a victim.  Only when I see somebody or something as a villain, and try to protect myself from them, can I violate their free will… and if I cannot violate free will, I cannot have my free will violated either, therefore I am always safe and free. *tap tap tap*

On the opposite side of the spectrum, since we have the belief that there are people out there that are our problems, we will also believe that there are those who are our solutions. These solutions are commonly known as “saviors” and “heroes”, but as we know, they are people too, and can easily flip from being our answers to being our problems. This angle must also be addressed, as we cannot believe one without also believing the other, they are two sides of the same coin.

Since we view the source of our pain as coming from people that are external from us, we will also view our sources of pleasure as coming from people that are external to us, as pain and pleasure are the dualistic outside-in distortions of the unity experience of joy. When we have this belief, another person can give us pleasure, whether it is sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any other sensual experience, but it is temporary, and is consumed as a resource. This consumption of their being and doing as a resource is what makes the entire situation unstable, and grants the possibility of flipping back into the victim / villain dynamic so easily.

The side being consumed as the savior becomes entitled to an equal or greater gift in return, a commerce and commodity exchange, where sides must meet in the middle in fair trade; this is commonly known as compromise. The experience of fair trade and equality isn’t always our reality though, as psychopaths take advantage of this energy exchange and horde energy for themselves, posing as saviors while actually being villains in disguise. These wolves make a game of playing with the sheep, to see how much they can get the sheep to willingly give to them, and then milking whatever is left from them through force. This is the situation we find ourselves in as a planet, where there is a giant energy imbalance between the wolves and the sheep, also known as the Elite and the slaves.

In regards to pain, we believe that villains are our questions that require answers, and in regards to pleasure, our lack of pleasure is our question, while our saviors play the role of our answers. It is imperative to remove ourselves from the view that people, beings, or entities can be either the source of our pain or our pleasure, and reintegrate our responsibility for pain and pleasure back into ourselves. This perspective shift will allow us to transform our outside-in pain and pleasure back into inside-out joy, where we can then approach each situation as a question in need of a solution, rather than each person as a potential question or solution.  Our friend Thomas Kutsomihas boiled this concept down to this, “our attempts to attain pleasure, as well as our avoidance of pain, is actually just our quest for our own inner joy.”  And so it is.

*tap tap tap* Even though I believe that people have the power to be my answers, and provide my solutions, maybe this is not the case. Maybe this belief has caused me to invite in parasites, wolves, and worse. What if I could stop seeing people as my hero or savior to rescue me from people that I perceive as problems, and maybe I can stop viewing all people as potential saviors or villains? Maybe it is when I see somebody as a potential savior and source of pleasure, that I am able to see somebody as a villain, that one needs the other to exist. *tap tap tap*

*tap tap tap* Even though I believe that I am unable to be the master of my own experience, because I need heroes and saviors to protect me from the myriad of villains, maybe just maybe I do not need their help, but I can instead change my perspective. Maybe the devil is the result of believing in a saving god, and a saving god is the result believing in the devil? *tap tap tap*

*tap tap tap* Even though I do not feel capable of generating my own pleasure, and believe that I need the perfect man or woman to do it for me, maybe just maybe that is not the case. Maybe instead of finding the perfect person to give me pleasure, I can be responsible from the inside-out, and attract those who are also responsible for their own pleasure inside-out, and co-create together with them. Rather than them filling my lack, we can instead multiply our abundance together. Maybe external people have never been the source of my pleasure, but a surrogate source of it, because I forgot how to be self-sustaining within my own body. *tap tap tap*

In the way that we have the capacity to view our feelings for what they are, as messengers presenting us with a message, rather than posing as a threat to our survival, we can also view the people that we interact with in the same way. If we perceive our feelings as villains that harm us, cause us discomfort, or make us flee from them, we are in judgment of them, and we will be stuck in survival instincts whenever they arise. However, as soon as we can allow our feelings to rise to the surface without judgment, seeking to understand what they are attempting to tell us — about us; then each feeling becomes an opportunity to explore Self and to become more aware.

People, beings, entities, and even situations can also be perceived in this way, not as our villain, our victim, or our savior, but as an opportunity to look into the mirror of Self — to discover who we truly are. In this way, just as feelings are an opportunity to work the process of “what, why, how”, our experiences with people are also an opportunity to process through life. This process does not lead to an ultimate end goal, but is a quality of life experience; one that keeps on shifting and building upon the last experience, one step at a time.

About Nathan

3 Responses to “Escape from Victim, Villain, Savior, and the Duality Drama”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Crucial issues you raise here.. there are a few things i would like to mention that i think that are relevant to what you notice.. i think our whole live is viewed in terms of dualism, of opposites.. so we feel jealous and we try to achieve the ideal of non jealousy, we feel violent and try to catch the ideal/opposite of non violence and so on.. i don’t think there is a limit in this approach/attitude .. we face all psychological aspects of live in such terms. And i think this approach is essentially a factor of seperation/division/conflict.. do we all see it? Isn’t it clear that once i invent the ideal of non violence i seperate myself and struggle to move from violence to non violence? The actual fact is violence, non violence simply doesn’t exist.. why don’t i remain with the fact? i think only then i will be able to fully grasp, in deeper levels, violence, jealousy, pleasure, ambition, hope, fear.. and once we trully see what is, not intellectually, but rather deeply, then no problems exist (i mean psychological problems)

    • Great comment, thanks you for posting it. We whole heartedly agree with your point, and have made it in several other blog posts as well. We must deal with reality and transform it to a new reality, simply pretending the old reality doesn’t have a grip upon us while it clearly still does is not going to change anything — it’s hopeful thinking.

Leave a Reply