Transform Your Relationship to Causality, in Order to Transform Your Relationships

cause-and-effectCause is power, and power is cause; it is either inside-out, or outside-in. A powerful being is cause over others, whereas an empowered being is cause of their own life from within.

Every Cause has its Effect; every Effect has its Cause. ~The Kybalion, the Sixth Hermetic Principle of Cause & Effect

Mastering cause and effect is a very difficult task, as there seems to be many different interlocking beliefs that are tied into this concept. We often reverse cause and effect, where for example we think that we must “do to be” rather than the actual truth of “being to do”. We also seem to associate two separate things as one thing, and wrongly believe they have a common cause because they may happen to coincide together. While these are common logical errors we make in our reasoning, one of the worst mistakes we make at a core level is believing that the external world is cause, and that our internal world is effect.

This belief has far reaching implications in all facets of our lives, and it permeates our society, religions, politics, relationships, and pretty much everything else. We feel responsible for the feelings of others, and we feel that they are responsible for ours. Our experiences are under their control, and their experiences are under our control. When we are selfish, we are expecting them to be cause over us in a beneficial manner without giving anything back in return, where we manipulate and trick them into being cause for our benefit, or maybe they take advantage of us and manipulate or force us to be cause for their benefit.

We often long for a balanced outside-in causality in a love based relationship, where we want to give them our love, and watch them respond to us intellectually, emotionally, and physically, and we want them to give the same back to us in return. Sometimes the relationship will get out of balance, and arguments and power struggles ensue.

Examples of outside-in causality within a relationship:

“I gave him/her an orgasm!”
“They are lucky to be friends with me.”
“You complete me!”
“I can’t live without you!”
“You owe me for all I’ve done for you.”

While we want to be cause over others in order to save them, and sometimes want others to be cause over us in order to save us, this has a dangerous shadow side and vulnerability. It makes us susceptible to predators who will compete with us, in order to dominate us into submission, for their own gains. If we are cause from within, a predator is unable to be cause over us, but because we wish to save others, and/or wish to be saved, villains are able to exercise causality over us. This belief underlies the belief in domineering authority figures in an unnatural top down hierarchy, as those who are cause from the inside-out are an empowering figure, rather than a domineering figure.

EFT Tapping Script:

  1. Even though I believe that the external world is cause and my internal world is effect, maybe just maybe I am cause from within, and the world around me is the effect of my thoughts, feelings, and actions?
  2. Even though I desire for a man or woman to save me from my loneliness, and make me feel good, and I desire to make them feel good too, maybe just maybe this is reversing cause and effect? Maybe I do not need to be saved, and maybe they do not need to be saved either?
  3. Even though I believe that I am responsible for the feelings of those I love, maybe just maybe I am not responsible for their feelings, but am only responsible for empowering them to find their own strength from within?
  4. Maybe just maybe I am not cause over others, and they are not cause over me?
  5. Maybe just maybe I am cause from within, and everyone around me has the choice to also be cause from within?
  6. Maybe I open myself up to predators when I believe that I can save another, and when I believe that they are able to save me?
  7. -Maybe I have tied up my value in how well I can save another, and tied up my worth in how worthy I am to be saved by others? Maybe I can allow my value and worth to be connected to who I am, and my purpose in this life, rather than on saving or being saved?

For more on causal fallacies, see the following Wikipedia entry:

For more on EFT, please visit my EFT YouTube Channel “BeFreeWithEFT“, and my EFT website, ““.

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