I am often asked, especially more recently with the world caught up in such a gigantic lie, why it is so difficult to wake people up to the truth. This is a really great question, but it’s a difficult one to digest because it takes some humility and courage on the part of the one receiving my answer. If you’re not interested in eating a full serving of humble pie, this may not be the post for you to read—consider yourself warned.
My answer is a difficult one, first, because it requires some understanding of esoteric concepts, such as the principle of correspondence, which is the notion that whatever happens inside of you is reflected externally back to you. Second, it is difficult because you may very well prefer the lie to the truth in your microcosmic relationships (which is cause), and therefore experience people who prefer the lie to the truth reflected back to you in your macrocosmic experiences (which is an effect). This is considered a correspondence, where the macrocosmic world reflects back to you your own attitudes and beliefs that you hold onto so dearly in the microcosm, and is also based upon the principle of cause and effect where your causes return back to you as effects. Put simply, you hate the truth my friend, and you’d prefer a lie over the truth, because the truth would force you to reflect on uncomfortable possibilities, such as:
- Your partner finds somebody else more attractive than you.
- Your partner wants to break up wtih you because you don’t meet their new higher standards.
- You’re fat.
- You’re not attractive enough.
- You enable poor behaviors.
- You’re immature and behave poorly.
- You’re lazy with your thoughts, feelings, and reflectivity.
- You’re emotionally irresponsible.
- You’re too emotionally responsible for others.
- You’re a bad parent; your children turned out poorly.
- You have low self worth.
- On an interpersonal level, you havne’t developed your value.
- You’re arrogant.
- You haven’t developed your character nearly enough.
- You’re too attached to outcomes, making you controlling, rather than working the daily process that brings about satisfying outcomes.
- You get angry at people for not conforming to your thinking.
- You feel ashamed and guilty for not conforming to how others think.
The list goes on and on… let’s face it, you may very well prefer the lie too, albeit in ways that reinforces your microcosmic biases, rather than your macrocosmic ones. Let’s look at example number one, becasue it’s the most emotionally charged and socially acceptable lie we perpetuate. Your partner comes to you and tells you that they want to explore other romantic relationships, or that they found somebody they are ready to explore, what is your reaction? Are you angry at them? Are you hurt by them? Do you shame or guilt them for even having the thought? Do you become a victim of their attraction to others, or a victim to their desires? Do you project onto them religious dogmas about the ideal relationship, or remind them of the commitment that they made to you years ago?
The truth of the matter is they are attracted to another person that is NOT you, can you be courageous enough to hear what they are feeling and experiencing with you, or towards another? Are you empathetic enough to ask them questions to understand why your relationship isn’t working out the way you thought it should? Are you humble enough to admit your failures, admit what you don’t know, and be open to hearing their honest truth? Can you handle the truth without burning bridges or punishing them for what they are telling you? If you’re too fragile to handle the truth in such a way, or if you’re not a safe person to be vulernable with because you react abusively to the truth, you will experience a world filled with lies and liars—since you are that which you hate, because it is easier to hate another than to hate yourself. Therefore it’s easier to project onto others and pretend that you’re morally justified.
People often lie because there’s no incentive to tell the truth when they get punished for it; be a safe person that wants to hear the truth, no matter what the cost is to your own beliefs about yourself, and you will find that people are more honest with you. Tell people the truth about how you feel, even if it hurts their feelings, and be willing to work through their feelings with them when they are hurt, and they will be challenged and have the opportunity to grow from it. Lies are lose/lose, but when you tell the truth, you win, and there’s an opportunity for the other party to win now as well.
Here is the uncomfortable truth—it is you, you are the liar, and you are the enabler of lies. You hate the truth, and will therefore be shown those who hate the truth ten fold, because maybe just maybe it will lead you to reflect just a little bit more about who YOU are, so that YOU can change who YOU are. Look into the mirror, and this time, don’t attack the mirror for reflecting your appearance back to you—own it, receive it’s harsh truth, and then act upon it in a way that developes your inner character. As Carl Jung so elequently said:
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” ~Carl Jung
“Remember everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.” ~Carl Jung
“If you imagine someone who is brave enough to withdraw all his projections, then you get an individual who is conscious of a pretty thick shadow. Such a man has saddled himself with new problems and conflicts. He has become a serious problem to himself, as he is now unable to say that they do this or that, they are wrong, and they must be fought against… Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day.” ~CG Jung, “Psychology and Religion” (1938). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.140