Our problems stem from our mindset and not from our actions. Trying to change our actions to change our outcomes is an attempt to control the effects of our thinking, rather than altering our core thinking responsible for our experiences. This makes us expend extra energy, and causes resistance, and is thus unsustainable, but it also keeps us looking in the wrong place for our solutions. We will be more effective, efficient, abundant, and satisfied when we instead alter our core thinking, and allow our actions to effortlessly follow.
Our feelings are our messengers, and they change when we alter the core mental patterns responsible for their messages. Let’s look at it metaphorically as a car. Think of the gas pedal as our thoughts, the instruments on the dashboard as our feelings, and the speed we’re traveling and the road we’re driving on as our actions and experiences. To experience a smooth and joyful ride, we are better served if we follow the feedback from the instruments on our dashboard (feelings) and then make adjustments to the position of our foot on the gas pedal (thinking).
Unfortunately, those who do not want to be responsible or bothered by their feelings (instrumentation), or were never taught how to drive their vehicle, keep trying to change their actions (roads they are traveling on) to get a different result. They reason that if they change their actions (road they’re traveling on), they’ll change their experience (speed). They just don’t seem to realize that they need to adjust the gas pedal to alter their speed, and that they’ll then be able to better navigate the road they’re traveling on. Sometimes they may still need to get on a 30 mph side road to better understand how to drive their vehicle, and get more practice with driving, but the biggest thing they still need to do is learn how to read their instrumentation (listen to their feelings), and adjust their foot’s position and force on the gas pedal (alter their mental patterns of relating). Many people absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their thoughts and feelings, as they continues blame the actions of others, or their own actions, and yet still wonder why they can’t feel powerful and in control of their lives.