Increase Intimacy & Self-Awareness with Prostate Massage

Attention: this article contains sexually themed educational content intended for responsible adults. 

A renaissance has emerged in the past decade, a collective remembering among men and their partners, of the wonderful sexual gland known as the male prostate.  Reintroduced into pop culture through the comedic movie “Road Trip”, the prostate orgasm is no longer the exclusive domain of the gay community, as single hetero men, as well as couples, are exploring its many benefits.  

From a health perspective, milking the prostate has been accomplished by doctors for many years as a treatment for male prostatitis, by releasing stagnant seminal fluids and for increasing blood flow to the prostate.  In some countries though, they prescribe antibiotics instead, but do not address the root causes.  The prostate can be milked externally via the perineum, or internally through the rectum, however, to encourage a release of seminal fluid, internal massage is more effective.  There are sexual benefits to standard prostate massaging, for just as the female vagina and g-spot requires relaxation and blood flow for increased sensitivity and arousal, increased blood flow to the prostate will accomplish such in men.  

In Tantra, there is a concept called genital armoring, whereby past emotional traumas, fear, and painful experiences add muscular armor and tenseness to both the vaginal walls and the muscles around the prostate gland.  This genital armor can restrict blood flow to your most vital sexual organs, and you can accumulate more armor as more unhealthy experiences arise, thus perpetuating less sexual sensitivity over time.  One practical method of dealing with the effects of genital armor is through genital massage, and in the case of men, prostate massage.  

It should also be noted, that just removing the effects of genital armoring does not necessarily remove the root emotional causes and dysfunctional patterns of relating that started it, therefore we highly suggest working with a trained emotional professional, and taking the necessary steps to increase your personal emotional intelligence.  If the original causes are not dealt with and understood, the symptoms of genital armoring may return over time.

Lastly, before we begin, we feel that it is important to abstain from ejaculatory peak orgasms from penile stimulation for at least three weeks, while you are first exploring your prostate. This may help you to become more sensitive in your prostate, but it will also help you starve any addictive tendencies you have sexually, as many men are addicted to the dopamine rush in the brain that occurs from penis based tension orgasms.

Choosing to perform 2-3 short prostate massage sessions a week, with or without a partner, is enough to increase your overall sexual health and satisfaction immensely, however, there are more available benefits, if you are willing.

  1. Check with your doctor if you have any known medical conditions or unknown pain in your
  2. Men:  Vacate your bowels, and clean them with a water enema.
  3. Partner:  Give a full body massage to relax your body and release any pent up tension.
  4. Men:  Lie down on your back and pull your knees towards your chest, may be good to place a pillow with a towel over it under your lower back, to raise you up for easier access.  Alternatively, get on your hands and knees.
  5. Partner: Ensure nails are clipped, filed, and washed, or wear a latex medical glove.  Use specially made anal lube, coconut, or grapeseed oil.
  6. Partner:  Stick your finger up your man’s anus, one to two knuckles deep, and search for a walnut shaped mound, it is located just below his bladder.
  7. Partner:  Massage slowly, but firmly enough to release any tension in the muscles, and increase blood flow.  Ensure that you do not press too hard or violently, as this may result in damage to the sensitive tissue in the rectum, and around the prostate.
  8. Partner:  Ensure communication between you and your partner receiving the massage.
  9. Partner:  Massage for several minutes, you may see a gradual release of clear seminal fluid, which is releasing any stagnant fluid that may be contained within the prostate.
  10. This experience may or may not end up in an orgasmic ejaculation, but that is not a measurement of success; the process of massage is beneficial and a success in and of itself.

Some women have historically increased their sexual self-awareness through the use of the Taoist Jade Egg practice, but until recently, men have not had the same luxury of a methodology for increasing their own sexual capacity for pleasure.  This is where utilizing a prostate massaging device, such as the Aneros, can help.   

  1. Just as in the prostate massage instructions with a partner, it may be important to vacate your bowels prior to an Aneros or other prostate massage device session.
  2. Lube up your Aneros, and lube the entry to your anus, with either lube specifically designed for anal play, or with a safe and healing vegetable oil, such as coconut or grapeseed oil.
  3. Lay on your side and relax, breathing slow and deep.  I prefer taking breaths of six seconds inhale, six seconds exhale, to bring about a state of heart-coherence.
  4. In this state of relaxation, place your Aneros device up against your anus, but do not force it in, rather, wait a few seconds and allow your anus to relax after its initial reflex to tense up at first touch.
  5. Gently insert your Aneros, allowing for your muscles to clench it, and suck in the device further.  Much like with the vagina and a jade egg, your anus and prostate is capable of profound muscle control, but this aspect may take practice and time to master.
  6. After inserting the Aneros 3/4ths in, but not too deep, continue to relax and breath, and gently rock your hips for a few minutes, while gently squeezing your perineum and anus.  It is at this step that several options are available.
    1. Kegels & breathwork
    2. Masturbation
    3. Sexual encounters

Perform kegels by squeezing your prostate massage device, as it provides feedback, and can assist you in gaining awareness of your prostate.  Do three sets of twenty, where you breathe in slowly on the contraction, and relax while you exhale.  Also try rolling your muscles in circles, by making a circular motion with your hips at first, but as you get more advanced, without hip movements, just isolating the muscles around your prostate, pc muscle, and anus.  Use this opportunity to utilize Tantric breathing techniques to build up chi, circulate life force energy throughout your body, and to relax your muscles.  Being able to relax your muscles and body is just as important as gaining control and awareness over them, as the pleasure can expand and move throughout your body when relaxed, but stays localized when too tense and contracted.

Next you can take what you learned from performing kegels and breathwork, and combine it with masturbation.  There are several different types of orgasms possible with an Aneros, or other prostate massage devices, such as the prostate orgasm, combination orgasm, and the Super-O.  Just as the clitoris is the north pole and the g-spot is the south pole of a woman’s genital pleasure center, the head of the penis is the north pole and the prostate is the south pole of a man’s genital pleasure center.  In a similar fashion as the north and south poles of the earth work together to create a magnetic field around the earth, the two genital sexual poles can work in union together during sexual arousal, stimulation, and orgasm.


The easiest orgasm to achieve is the combination orgasm, where it is important to direct the sexual energy away from your penis while you stroke it, down into your prostate, and focus your awareness on your prostate.  This process will help you rewire your pleasure centers in your brain, where  you create new pathways that connect your prostate to pleasure; do not be surprised if your prostate is numb at first, even for a few months.  Combination orgasms add a depth of pleasure to your sexual experience, as they are utilizing more than one nerve bundle in the interaction; they may be ejaculatory or non-ejaculatory, depending on the level of relaxation.

Next, there is the prostate only orgasm, which is a little more difficult for some people to experience, as it is isolating the prostate from the penis, and relying solely on prostate stimulation.  This type of orgasm can be felt with a partner’s finger, penis, or a prostate stimulation device, and like a combination orgasm, the pleasure is a powerful internal feeling that explodes out from the prostate, and can cause some loud moans and screams of contentment; and may be ejaculatory or non-ejaculatory, again, depending on the level of relaxation.  The isolated prostate orgasm is equivalent to a g-spot orgasm.

Lastly, there is the Super-O, which happens only when a person has mastered the art of relaxation, and can take hours of Tantric breathing at the start.  According to the Aneros Wiki page:

Super-O is an abbreviation of “super orgasm,” a term coined by Aneros user Brian Mayfield for an orgasm that steps out of the normal frame of reference. A Super-O is an overwhelmingly strong non-ejaculatory orgasm that may involve: durations of minutes at a time; full-body orgasmic waves of pleasure; intense pleasure throughout the pelvic region, particularly the prostate, rectum and surrounding muscles; loss of a sense of reality; strong emotional responses; flashes of color (optical activity in the brain); large muscle contractions; a strong sense of ejaculation (with no emission); protracted involuntary vocalizations, roars or screams; pleasant convulsions; pronounced deep or staccato pelvic thrusting or writhing; a sense of soulful release and relief; a sense of self-redefinition; and, an energized feeling immediately following orgasm and being ready for more (as opposed to post-ejaculation lethargy).

On the Aneros forum, men have described their experiences like this: “pure bliss,” “ongoing orgasmic bliss,” “lost all sense of time,” “floating,” “out of body,” “thought I was going to pass out,” “could not take anything more,” “laughing and sobbing at the same time.”

A Super-O may take days, months, or even years of practice to accomplish; it reflects a man’s attitudes about nature, money, sex, pleasure, self-worth, usefulness, and grounding, but it may also be a reflection of a man’s level of sexual mastery and self-awareness.  It is up to each man to journey through and explore why he is or isn’t experiencing what he desires to experience, and to take responsibility for that experience through strength of will and desire.

Incorporating the male prostate into sex can increase overall sexual satisfaction of men, and reduce the incessant searching that most men are trying to find through an overactive fantasy life, porn, and multiple sexual partners.  What I found from my own experience was that what I wanted was to experience powerful mind blowing orgasms the way that I had seen women experience them.  My limited penis based orgasm would last five to seven seconds, and would render me useless for several minutes afterwards, and yet my partner could achieve mind blowing multiples that reverberated all over her body.  The search for what was missing finally ended when I discovered my prostate, and as it awakened, I realized that what I was searching for was not to be found in another person, but within my own body; thus as my sexual satisfaction went up, I freed up valuable resources to spend on other creative efforts and projects.

To enjoy your prostate during sex, you can incorporate a penis and prostate massage prior to sexual intercourse, to increase blood flow and sensitivity to your genital region.  This is much like a yoni and g-spot massage, in that the goal is sexual relaxation and increased blood flow, and not necessarily a goal oriented peak orgasm; orgasmic waves of pleasure can be as much fun as a peak orgasm.  Additionally, utilizing a prostate massage device or butt plug inserted during physical love making, one which is designed to be hands free, can engage the prostate while the penis is engaged inside of your partner.  Some devices may limit the range of sexual positions available, while others are so discreet as to allow for any position that you can imagine.  Sexual thrusting can be strong and powerful, or subtle and relaxed, each giving their own unique sensations to explore together.  

As with all sexual practices, once a certain level of rewiring in the brain has occurred, muscle control achieved, and sexual self-mastery attained, the need for physical stimulation diminishes, and thought alone can trigger orgasmic sensations throughout the body.  While this is definitely a noble state of being to strive towards, it is still nice to enjoy all that our body has to offer us, as mastery is about being present here and now in our body, enjoying the infinite pleasures it has to offer us, free from guilt, shame, and fear.  Adding dimensions to male sexuality, through awakening of the prostate, has the capability of transforming romantic relationships through increasing intimacy, orgasmic pleasure, and sexual satisfaction.  Men, what if your prostate was what you’ve been searching for sexually all along?

Please see our other article on the subject: The Prostate and Male Multiple Orgasm

For more information on the male prostate and prostate massage and orgasm, you can check out these books that are available on the Amazon Kindle:

  1. Prostate Health 101: Prostate Massage Benefits and Techniques
  2. The Prostate Massage Manual: What Every Man Needs To Know For Better Prostate Health and Sexual Pleasure
  3. How to Master the Male G-Spot!: What Every Man Wants But Won’t Tell You!

THE UNITY PROCESS: I’ve created an integrative methodology called the Unity Process, which combines the philosophy of Natural Law, the Trivium Method, Socratic Questioning, Jungian shadow work, and Meridian Tapping—into an easy to use system that allows people to process their emotional upsets, work through trauma, correct poor thinking, discover meaning, set healthy boundaries, refine their viewpoints, and to achieve a positive focus. You can give it a try by contacting me for a private session.

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