Boundaries are a fence around our being that clearly define where we begin and end in relationship to Self and others, as they show us what is and is not a reasonable use of our value and energy. Our boundaries frame the safe space from which we are able to create the life of our dreams, where we can be as unique and creative as we choose. Enmeshment is where two or more people become one functional unit without differentiation or separation of boundaries; but in order to accomplish this, they must sacrifice their energy and safe space, and lean upon each other for their survival and creative desires.
What exactly are boundaries though? They are our understanding and alignment with Divine logic and reason, also known as the “Logos” to the Gnostics. Those who have aligned their lives with Divine logic will be the most reasonable and responsible with their energy, gifts, and talents, while those who have been traumatized and conditioned out of their logic, will be the most unreasonable with their and other people’s energy, gifts, and talents.
Seduction, manipulation, and aggression are attempts from unreasonable people to steal value from us, even if they guilt and shame us with “be reasonable and share with me!” They’ve turned reason upon its head, and said that it is compassionate and loving to share our energy with their unreasonable energetic needs and demands. Manipulators are anything but reasonable though, as they’re just jonesing for another hit of our value, and they’ll use any means necessary to trick us into giving it to them. It is never reasonable nor compassionate to sacrifice our value for another person, being, or entity, as this is enabling the unreasonable beliefs and behaviors of an addict.
When we truly love ourselves, having aligned our perceptions with Divine logic, we are responsible with our energy, and trust the choices of others enough to let them experience the logical consequences of their perceptions, feelings, and actions. In this way, they too can learn the folly of the reality they are creating for themselves, and make a conscious change if they so choose—this is what it truly means to be compassionate and loving. Therefore the call to “have good boundaries” is the call to align our lives with Divine logic, so that we might learn what it is to be responsible and reasonable with our energy, gifts, and talents. Reasonable people cannot be manipulated, they are individuated from the enmeshed collective, and they are always safe and free to create their lives in whatever way they desire.
The Unity Process is our way of realigning our personal logic with that of the Logos, where we combine Jungian shadow work, the Hermetic Principles, and the Trivium method of critical thinking into one seamless system of personal transformation. The tools within the Unity Process make mastering our thoughts, feelings, and actions more attainable for the everyday person, however, it still requires the choice and strength of will to follow through and make it happen.
As we’ve stated in many other articles, Knowledge (what questions / input / seed & egg) is the Father, Understanding (why questions / logic / womb) is the Mother, and Wisdom (how questions / output / actions) is the Child; with this in mind, let’s explore how boundaries fit into this metaphor. Let’s consider the Father’s Knowledge (information, what, who, when, and where) the fence poles of our boundaries, the Mother’s Understanding (Logos, why) are the wires that connect the fence poles together, and give the boundaries the ability to repel outside invaders, and finally, the Child (actions, how) are the allowable actions that occur within the confines of the limits provided by the boundaries. If the boundaries aren’t clearly defined with both sound knowledge and understanding, then the actions of the person within the boundaries, and those people outside of the boundaries, will be prone to enmeshing, manipulating, and all manner of boundary infractions. At least in our realm, group consciousnesses will usually have poor boundaries and be enmeshed, while individuated consciousnesses will have sufficiently differentiated themselves from the group by developing their knowledge and understanding well enough to have clearly defined boundaries.